Although hopefully not your intent, the best way to control someone is to love them. Love may be defined simply as “belief in the existence of the other per se.” If you want the best others have to offer, whether, spouses, partners, children or employees help them to grow. Commitment to a relationship is a function of the possibility of growth. If you see the other as they truly are and believe in their potential to become greater than they can imagine, then they will rise to the occasion and offer their very best. This works every time but only if the currency used is genuine and your level of self-awareness is well developed. Don’t try this using counterfeit (early mental models) because it is likely to backfire in unpredictable ways.