When that is our primary motivation many of the other things you hope to accomplish in the relationship have a tendency to fall into place. But “seeing” and believing in others per se often requires that we look through lenses that have first been re-calibrated by curiosity about ourselves. Like it or not your conscious or unconscious agenda can be read by others. Our mirror neurons are communicating even if we think we are being silent. Objective self-knowledge is often a relief from who we may fear we truly are. Should you wonder how hard wired these neurological circuits are, infants can imitate some adult facial expressions when they are less than an hour old. We fool ourselves if we think we can hide our true motivation from ourselves and others. What we keep from knowing about ourselves presses for expression and often finds a way to disrupt our intended actions at the worst possible moment.