The quality of the relationship we enjoy with ourselves is the upper limit on what is possible with others. Hence, when you find yourself intolerant or frustrated with others ask yourself the following questions: Is there something about myself that I am not ready to see or know? What is it about this person or situation that gets me so exercised? Just asking the questions is enough. Don’t try to answer them. Let your unconscious resolve the tension on its own schedule. Otherwise, you are likely to use your existing mental models to explain away what you are not ready to know.